srsly? Predicting the end of the world? Again? Yeah, because that went so well SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO. Listen, oldtimer. I don’t know why you insist on scaring a shitload of people into believing Life, the Universe and Everything will end somewhere in October this year, but if we’re going by facts, the last time you pulled a stunt like that, you failed miserably. Actually, let me correct that. I have to agree on your scientifically unproven theory, because not even a month after your supposed ending of the world in September 1994, Comic Sans MS was being created by Microsoft’s Vincent Connare. Kudos, good sir, for being -somewhat- right. He claims he based his theory on math, but I’m thinking he got math mixed up with meth.

I’m not a man of religion. I can only assume the 89-year old Howard Camping himself isn’t either, because if there’s one thing a man of faith should never do, it’s make people lose faith in their religion. Those who devoted so much of their time and money into this … well, I’ll just call it a scam, because that’s what it is. He’s taking money from hard-working people of faith, who, as a result, will feel abandoned by their own beliefs, in such a horrible way that they might lose faith in what they believe.

Now, the taking money part. Between 2005 and 2009, the fossil’s (‘non-profit’!) radio station, Family Radio, made about $80 million on contributions, and God knows how much more between 2009 and present day. Point being, while every single person who gave him the last of their hard earned savings money, will be devestated. What they believed in for years has been proven to be nothing but a scam. And the worst thing is, he’s done it before, he did it again, and if he lives to be a hundred and ten, he will most likely do it again.

Harold Camping already sent his beloved radio station a goodbye letter, stating that after May 21st, his co-workers should “steadfastly continue to stand with us to proclaim the Gospel through Family Radio.”
One of the station’s producers already claims he figured out what’s going to happen after May 21st. Apparently, Harold Camping will disappear from the radar, take all the money he has left with him, to live a peaceful life, far away from the people he manipulated into giving him every penny from their saving’s account and either get back on track when he needs another cash injection or, which seems most likely seen as how the guy is nearly 90 years of age, go some place where no one will ever recognize him.

Whatever happens, if the people he scammed won’t sue him, I most definitely will. For false advertising. I mean, if you go to the cinema, wanting to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, but once you’re inside they tell you the only movie you’ll be watching for the next two hours will be Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark, wouldn’t you be pissed off?!

In the last 100 years, a couple of dozen people have tried to figure out when Doomsday will finally arrive. I say: who gives a fuck. Live life the way you want to, live in the present, yadda yadda yadda, et cetera. You’re alive for a reason. Stop caring about when you will cease to exist and start caring about what you’ll be proud of the moment you realize you’ll cease to exist soon. I’m not sure if it would be nice to know when you’ll be taking your last breath, but wouldn’t it be nicer to know you spent more time living life than spending a lifetime thinking about when your life will end?

Ja, sorry. Op verzoek van bepaalde types. En ze hadden nog wat van me tegoed. Laatste keer, hoor. Volgende keer ben ik weer lekker cynisch in het oud-Hollandsch. Voor nu, adieu. Ondergetekende blijft sowieso leven tot oktober 2011, aangezien morgen maar 3% van de wereld-populatie naar den hemel geroepen zal worden, maar goed. Hoe dan ook: veel plezier, deze eenentwintigste mei van het jaar tweeduizend en elf.